THE POLITICALLY INCORRECT DOT COMS
Here’s a few for the water cooler …
The readers of CompetitionPlus.com cast their votes over the Holidays
to determine the “Best of” categories during the 2008 season.
We at CompetitionPlus.com keep a running notebook of the odd and
curious situations that came up during the year, including some things
that others would prefer we ignore – which we won’t!
The following are a sampling of some of those “awards” many
people have been thinking about but not openly talking about on the
record.
Here’s a few for the water cooler …
The readers of CompetitionPlus.com cast their votes over the Holidays
to determine the “Best of” categories during the 2008 season.
We at CompetitionPlus.com keep a running notebook of the odd and curious situations that came up during the year, including some things that others would prefer we ignore – which we won’t!
The following are a sampling of some of those “awards” many people have been thinking about but not openly talking about on the record.
We herewith present to you the 10th Annual Politically Incorrect Dot Com Awards.
THE “IF WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THE PROBLEM, IT DOESN’T EXIST” AWARD …
This goes to NHRA’s MANAGEMENT TEAM – CompetitionPlus.com has repeatedly requested comment from the NHRA on a wide variety of topics, only to be told they would comment “later.” Case in point, when quizzed about the nitromethane supply back in April, the NHRA declined to discuss the potential shortage, stating they weren’t going to speak on speculation. A month later they banned post-event testing and all testing at NHRA national event tracks. Was that decision made on speculation too?
And let us not forget to mention that when the official, approved supplier also began talking about shortages, citing a reported ban on production by the Chinese government during the Olympics, it took CompetitionPlus.com – and others – no more than three hours of online research to determine that there was an unlimited amount of nitromethane available. All it took to obtain it was enough money to purchase the requisite container loads.
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This goes to THE ARTISTS FORMERLY KNOWN AS TORCO RACE FUELS – The storyline probably warranted a full length feature movie featuring women, jets, alleged embezzlement and financial mismanagement, not to mention race fuel and dropped sponsorships. As quickly as Torco Race Fuels, under Evan Knoll’s leadership, burst onto the scene as a sponsor oasis, they left many with the feeling they had just traveled to sponsor Hades.
THE “DO THE RIGHT THING” AWARD …
This goes to the IHRA. - When Torco defaulted on the points fund, and two Shootout special race programs, not to mention other involvement with the organization, the IHRA and new owners Feld Entertainment took it on the chin and did the right thing for the racers by paying the committed monies. They should be applauded for doing so.
THE “THAT’S REALLY COOL” AWARD …
This goes to RAHN TOBLER – Having bounced around from team to team in the past couple of seasons, past championship tuner Rahn Tobler found a home with serial crew-chief-changer Cruz Pedregon. Tobler had never tuned a flopper before but embraced the challenge and soon made “Toblerizing” a household word among Funny Car aficionados. He not only returned Pedregon to the winner’s circle but also to the championship stage. If only he could Toblerize his championship speeches.
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THE “WRAP IT UP, I’LL TAKE IT” AWARD …
This goes to NHRA SAFETY SAFARI - They had hoped to pull a fast
one on announcer Alan Reinhart by wrapping his golf cart in plastic.
The sad part of their failed prank was finding out later Reinhart was
on the top level of Pomona’s tower watching them at work.THE “WAITING FOR THE ARM TO DROP” AWARD …
This goes to the ADRL – When a severe thunderstorm and high winds knocked out the Christmas tree at U.S. 131 Dragway in Martin, Mich., ADRL President Kenny Nowling was faced with a tough decision: Postpone the race, already in the second round, over to the next event, or split the purse equally, or use “arm-drop” competition to determine the winners. Nowling chose the latter, with the public relations bounce from the move netting even more brand recognition for the unorthodox ADRL.
THE “WE’LL BE DARNED IF THEY DIDN’T PULL IT OFF” AWARD …
This goes to the IHRA PRO STOCK TEAMS – Only once in drag racing history has there been a total participation of teams in a professional category boycott. That mark was almost equaled in June when all but one IHRA Pro Stock team opted to “sit out” the IHRA Rocky Mountain Nationals in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada in protest over the purse and tow money.
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THE “EBAY POWER SELLER” AWARD …
This goes to the IHRA PRESIDENT AARON POLBURN – When those Pro
Stock teams failed the show, the IHRA’s leader sent a subtle message in
an article published by the Fayetteville Observer Times and we quote,
“If this would even come close to happening again,” he told The
Observer, “I can tell you that class can put their cars up on eBay
because they would never, ever come to one of our tracks again.” And
just to think, Polburn wonders why so many IHRA competitors seem
reluctant to be there.THE “WORST KEPT SECRET” AWARD …
This goes to LARRY DIXON TO ALAN JOHNSON/AL-ANABI – Dixon always said he had a contract with Don “Snake” Prudhomme, but he never let anyone know he intended to buy his way out for 2009. Amidst the speculation, Dixon stuck to his guns and at the last minute – sprung the news on the drag racing world that he was a free man.
THE “WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?” AWARD …
This goes to LARRY DIXON IN POMONA – Here’s a shocker. When you’re in a press conference, you’re going to get asked sometimes uncomfortable, awkward questions. That’s why we were more than a little surprised when Dixon fired off at veteran So-Cal journalist Louie Brewster for asking, “What about your plans for next year?” The usually cordial Dixon lashed out in a post-race interview, “Who cares? Are you serious? Let me enjoy the moment.”
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THE “WE WEREN’T BORN YESTERDAY” AWARD …
This goes to EDDIE KRAWIEC – When asked about his semi-final win against teammate Andrew Hines in the NHRA Finals, when he left three tenths slower on the tree, eventual Pro Stock POWERade champion Krawiec insinuated that his incredible
catch-up was the result of luck. Oh
really? We might have gotten the idea it was team orders, otherwise.
Besides, if they had been listening to the announcing staff, they might
have gotten the idea of throwing the race. Refresh our memories, but
didn’t the NHRA issue a memo warning teams of fixing races at the
advent of the Countdown?THE “GATEKEEPER” AWARD …
This goes to TONY PEDREGON’S GATE SMASHER – Chances are you’ve seen enough engine explosions over the years that when Tony Pedregon grenaded the engine at Route 66 Raceway many believed that as his car scrubbed the wall down the shutdown area, it would do nothing more than slow the car down. What they didn’t expect was to see the body stripped off the chassis by what appeared to be an open gate. The NHRA blamed the incident on an overzealous rescue team when many contended (there were eye witnesses, Dude!) the gate was never closed after one of the previous pair had turned off early – through that very gate.
THE “THAT’S NOT FUNNY” AWARD …
This goes to IHRA DROPS FUNNY CARS – For the first time since 1971, the IHRA will begin racing in 2009 without the presence of any kind of Funny Car, nitro or alcohol. The decision was made based on sponsorship issues, or lack thereof. The nitro class was reintroduced full-time in 2006, while the Alcohol cars had been on the curriculum since 1986. Do you consider it a “real” national event when there are no Funny Cars?
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THE “NO WONDER THE PRICE OF OIL WENT UP” AWARD …
This goes to THE TOP FUEL MARATHON IN MILAN – The price of a barrel of light sweet crude oil traveled as high as $139 this
summer.
However, if Congress would have been around Milan, Mich., during the
IHRA Motor City Nationals, they could have found an adequate supply.
During the course of the three day weekend, the IHRA Track Safety crew
cleaned no less than 18 oildowns. Seven oil downs were charged to the
nitro classes, three of which transpired consecutively on Sunday. One
bracket racer blew the drive train completely out of his Plymouth
Sundance, depositing the drive shaft and rear-end housing – and the oil
it contained -- on the starting line.
THE “ISSUE IS A NON-ISSUE” AWARD …
“There is a shortage out there,” Gray said in an interview published in May. “Don Schumacher says he’s got 300 drums out there and if he would sell to me, there wouldn’t be a problem. We’d get right on through this year with no problem when combined with what I’ve got coming.
“Don Schumacher is holding all of drag racing hostage. He will not sell it to me. I have begged him and pleaded with him to sell me the nitromethane. He just won’t sell and there’s no reason to be that way. None.”
Schumacher had a reason. He was determined not to contribute to what he believed was VP’s inflated profits, obtained via its questionable pricing structure and loudly proclaimed shortages, which many – including CompetitionPlus.com -- openly questioned.
Yes, there was a shortage, but only for VP Race Fuels, who struggled throughout the season to secure adequate supply while other entities sat on a stockpile. The price went as high as $1,822 for a 400 pound drum. VP suffered through a season of negative press.
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