MONTE DUTTON - I CAN'T MAKE OUT THE WORDS ANYMORE
It’s the final race of the season, and the last time Kyle Busch won a Monster Cup race, most Democrats were against impeachment. The Atlanta Braves looked like they might win the World Series.
It was June 2 in the Poconos, which was like being no place at all.
Justin Haley has won since Kyle Busch won. Kurt Busch has won since Kyle Busch won. The Washington Redskins have won since Kyle Busch won.
Yet … Kyle Busch is one of four drivers with an even shot at winning the Ford 400 at Homestead-Miami Speedway in Homestead-Miami, Fla. It’s near the Everglades in Everglades, Fla.
This is because NASCAR has quietly, without drawing great attention, restored the regular season for the past two years. The whole season does matter, and that’s why the younger of the contrary Busch brothers of rural Las Vegas, Nev., is in position to win the championship, and his odds look reasonably good since he finished second to Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Denny Hamlin last week by the time they got to Phoenix.
I can’t tell you how they did it. It’s all wrapped up in stage points, bonus points, playoff points, points of no return, Point Break, brake dust, pixie dust and “Havalina” by the Pixies.
In a strange, roundabout way that has come full circle, as roundabout ways tend to do, since something called The Chase began evolving from one species to another via natural selection in 2004, NASCAR has actually created what it wanted since it first reared upon its hind legs and made full use of opposable thumbs.
I’m kidding about natural selection. The H.M.S. Beagle never came within 500 nautical miles of Homestead. NASCAR has actually evolved like video games. The first Chase was Pong. The state-of-the-art playoffs are Fortnite, although, honestly, all I know about Fortnite is that it exists and apparently goes well with hip-hop music.
On Snapchat. With a juul and White Claws.
I don’t know anything about NASCAR anymore.