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In lieu of racing, Fox Sports 1 is televising imaginary racing. Online racing live.

Realizing I am only writing for myself here, I’d rather watch online curling. Slow-motion curling. Black-and-white reruns of barrel jumping on Wide World of Sports. Battle of the Trump Administration Stars. Joe E. Brown in Earthworm Tractors.

Oh, wait. I did watch part of it last night.

It is said that eRacing is just like the real thing. It’s iRacing gone big, which was Pole Position grown better. Call me old-fashioned. I still drink water from the tap.

A short-track promoter once told me that the trouble with Legends racing was that everybody wanted to drive one but nobody would walk across the street to watch it.

On the other hand, no one has to walk across the street to watch eRacing. He (or she) just has to walk into the kitchen or the bathroom every now and then, one leading invariably to the other.

If this works, of course, virtual tracks may sell virtual tickets, not to mention virtual camping spots and virtual hospitality tents where virtual drivers can hold virtual autograph sessions and ride around in virtual golf carts.

My time has passed. I remember a time long ago when golf carts were used for golf.

What I like about racing is that it used to have real people. Then again, I’m getting old, and it’s the same reason I thought Harry Gant was more real than Christopher Bell. It could be that if a driver eRaces enough, it eChanges him. Or her.

I’m guessing it doesn’t eHurt when a car hits an eWall. So it’s safe. Real life does have certain disadvantages.

A fellow on Facebook asked me how it was any different from watching people play poker on TV. I can’t say. I’ve never watched it, either.

I reckon I’m just not modern enough. Guilty as charged, your honor.