VALUABLE THOUGHTS TO CONSIDER by Ken Owen
People may say that it’s not my business as a columnist to persuade you or convert you to my personal value system (it doesn’t mean you can’t ask), but I do want to make it my business to encourage you to at least think about your personal values.
But what’s the big deal, anyway? Why are absolutes important in the first place? Can’t a person simply decide to live without being ruled by values and absolutes? Fair question.
As our nation gears up for a new round of presidential elections
next year, there is much talk among the major parties and their candidates
about values; family values, social values, economic values, spiritual values,
etc. Being the certified political junkie that I am, I am always intrigued by
the various perspectives that people and political parties have on this
important subject. Some people want more values; some want less. What one group
embraces as relevant, another rejects as overbearing.
People may say that it’s not my business as a columnist to persuade you or
convert you to my personal value system (it doesn’t mean you can’t ask), but I
do want to make it my business to encourage you to at least think about your
personal values.
But what’s the big deal, anyway? Why are absolutes important in the first
place? Can’t a person simply decide to live without being ruled by values and
absolutes? Fair question.
Indulge me while I get philosophical for a moment. There are dangers inherent
with trying to live your life without a specific value system. For example,
when there are no established values in your life (as in absolutes), your
behavior will usually determine your values—those values ultimately being a
result of what you feel, what you think, and what you do. Therefore, those
resultant values will always be unreliable and subject to change, because what
you feel, think and do is by its very nature subject to change. This can lead
to a rather frustrating and inconsistent life.
In other words, if you do not possess and live by a specific set of standards,
your own behavior and the behavior of those around you will ultimately form
your future values. And, since those values are not developed as a result of
systematic forethought and evaluation, your values will in most cases merely
become the result of your environment and assorted behavioral influences.
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Therefore, should you prefer to live your life without the “restraints” of specific values, please be aware that there is a price to pay. The price you pay for this pseudo-freedom is that what you feel, think and do tend to change throughout your life. In fact, with some people these things change from day-to-day. Imagine the frustration of trying to understand someone like that and keep up with his or her constantly changing values and behavior. Chances are you know people like this—and most likely you are not totally comfortable around such people.
Strong relationships thrive when there is a significant degree of consistency
and constancy associated with behavior and conduct. We like feeling comfortable
around other people, and behavioral consistency allows our comfort level to be
increased within a relationship. Do you want friends whose system of
values and standards of conduct are subject to change at every whim?
Conversely, why should people desire your friendship if you are living your
life the same way?
This is why it is important to consider, evaluate and clearly define the values
and the standards by which you choose to live your life. If you’re uncertain
about what values are best, I would be more than happy to recommend
mine—they’ve worked quite well for nearly two thousand years.
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There are many benefits to having clearly defined values. One such benefit involves guidance in decision-making. Because there is no road map in life, values become our moral compass. For example, there are many decisions in my life relating to guidance that are made according to my moral values. If no clear-cut answer is apparent when various options exist, I will usually base my decision on the option that best represents my personal values. Without clear values, there would be far more decisions with which I would struggle in life.
Furthermore, values determine the limits of your motivation. Consider this principle: you will never be motivated beyond the limits of your own perceived values in life. In other words, you will always be more motivated by those things that you perceive to be of greater value. Therefore, as you lower values, you lessen motivation. Here’s an example. If you don’t consider faithfulness to be an important value in marriage, what will keep you from being promiscuous? (Okay, apart from painful retribution from your spouse.) But without this as a perceived value, you won’t be as motivated to live a life of faithfulness.
I am deeply troubled when I see people so willing to lower personal standards and minimize values—because I know the impact this ultimately will have down the road. So I would like to suggest to you that values are important to your life and to your sense of fulfillment. Don’t be afraid to evaluate them, and don’t be afraid to adopt deeper values and embrace higher standards. After all, you’re the one who will benefit the most.
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