You'd better watch out. You'd better not pout.
 
OK -- we left out the "Better not cry" part because Susan Wade is a crybaby now and again and sometimes people can't help it.  :-)  
 
But Competition Plus' annual Naughty and Nice List is back in town, with a generous supply of candy canes for the good boys and girls in drag racing -- and, regrettably, a few lumps of coal for some folks who need to mind their manners.

You'd better watch out. You'd better not pout.
 
OK -- we left out the "Better not cry" part because Susan Wade is a crybaby now and again and sometimes people can't help it.  <smile>
 
But Competition Plus' annual Naughty and Nice List is back in town, with a generous supply of candy canes for the good boys and girls in drag racing -- and, regrettably, a few lumps of coal for some folks who need to mind their manners.
 
 
 
NICE
 
Most deserving of sweet candy canes this Christmas season are . . .
 

Andrea Pedregon, for all her work with her "Spark Of Hope" Charity Foundation.

Roy Johnson and Allen Johnson, for just maybe the best "feel-good" story this year. The father-son Pro Stock team are articulate and entertaining, but sometimes the very best expressions they shared for each other this season were the unspoken but surely understood ones as they made a championship dream come to life.  

Bob Frey probably ought to get a coal-sprinkled candy cane for leaving us before we ever got tired of him, but . . . nah . . . We'll give him the unaltered version for all of the wonderful and entertaining hours he provided on the microphone and at functions through the years. Bob, what you do is incredibly difficult, although you made it sound utterly effortless. Go rest your voice and enjoy a peppermint candy cane from Competition Plus!

Erica Enders for her outstanding Pro Stock season and the dignity she showed all year.

Richie Stevens, for capping Erica Enders' already amazing night at Joliet by proposing to her. What a romantic -- although he later said he would have no remorse defeating her on the racetrack if they ran head-to-head. (She gets it and feels the same way about racing him. A little fun competition is healthy for a relationship!)
 
To newlyweds Erica Enders & Richie Stevens and Morgan Lucas & Katie Pallone Lucas. Best wishes from everyone!

Funny Car icon John Force, for his encouragement of applause for women in drag racing.

Funny Car drivers Courtney Force and Alexis DeJoria, for conducting themselves admirably all season long and for supporting and befriending each other as they battled on the track for rookie-of-the-year honors.

Michael Ray, for giving the media someone else to write about besides the Harley-Davidson team. (No offense, Andrew Hines and Eddie Krawiec. You're awesome racers, truly. John Force surely knows all about this syndrome. You can commiserate with him. Just sayin' . . . )

Antron Brown, for his popular Top Fuel championship and for his whole Brian Corradi-, Mark Oswald-led Matco tools/Aaron's/Toyota team who never gave up right through literally the last second of the season. His gloved hands burned from a first-round mishap that final day at Pomona, Brown had a swarm of well-wishers surrounding him as he watched the final pass of the season to learn his fate. It shone as one of the storied NHRA's all-time memorable moments, this crowning of a new champion.

Tony Schumacher gets a candy cane, too, for his insight following the St. Louis race this fall: "I always say God has a plan. And maybe His plan for this year is for it to come down to one run for the championship." It did, and once again Schumacher was part of that, hoping to pull off another seemingly magical run for the title. But Brandon Bernstein beat him on a holeshot to break his own long winless streak and give Brown the championship and a double nitro-class championship for Don Schumacher Racing.

Antron Brown gets a second candy cane -- oh, heck, why not one for each of his family members, too? -- for the genuine way he loves and encourages everyone around him. The former pro Stock Motorcycle racer received a five-star review from two of his former competitors, Matt and Angie Smith. "I think it’s awesome," Angie Smith said of Brown's championship. "I love Antron. He's very busy with his program for Don Schumacher Racing, but he always takes a few moments out of each weekend to see the bike folks, and that's important. He knows where he came from. He's such an awesome guy. He's so positive and so good for the NHRA. He always will pump you up." Her husband, Matt Smith, said, "Antron's done awesome over there [in the Top Fuel class]. For Don [Schumacher] to give him the chance to do that, he did right for Don. Anybody in our class -- and I'm not just speaking for myself . . .  Anybody in our class -- if we can ride a bike we can drive a  Top Fuel [dragster] or Funny Car also. Antron's proved that. We are racers at heart."  
 
Drag racing legend Don Garlits, for his genuinely happy congratulations for Tony Schumacher after the U.S. Army Dragster driver broke Garlits' record of U.S. Nationals victories. Schumacher earned his ninth Indianapolis triumph Sept. 9 -- 9/9. Garlits missed the historic moment, home at Ocala, Fla., with ill wife, Pat, to whom he has been married for 59 years. But Garlits sent greetings, saying, "I was watching on TV,  and I felt like I was riding in there with Tony." He called the performance "a superb job of driving."

Mike Lewis, Don Schumacher Racing's senior vice president, for sending Garlits an e-mail following the completion of the U.S. Nationals to let him know the folks at DSR were thinking of him and his wife Pat, wishing they could have been at Indianapolis to share the moment.

Funny Car Johnny Gray, for once again supporting Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation for Childhood Cancer.

Top Fuel team owner-driver Steve Torrence and crew chief Richard Hogan for proving that a single-car Top Fuel operation can sustain a competitive effort all season long and win races.

Jeff Arend, for his classy reaction to the decisions at Kalitta Motorsports that weren't malicious but nevertheless left him without a job just before Christmas and in a tough economy. And to Jim Dunn, for hiring Arend when Todd Lesenko's business interests prevented him from continuing fulltime in the Grime Boss Funny Car.

Al-Anabi crew chief  Jason McCulloch, for his constant faith in driver Khalid alBalooshi and even pinning a note to the Dubai driver on race day at Denver this July. The Top Fuel rookie finally got his first round-win in the Al-Anabi/Toyota Dragster in Race No. 13 of the season, edging Tony Schumacher by one-thousandth of a second. Afterward, al Balooshi unzipped his fire suit to reveal a Post-It note of encouragement stuck to his shirt. "Today's your day - You can do it!" read McCulloch's prophetic message.

The NHRA, for adding New England Dragway to the 2013 schedule.

International Hot Rod Association President Aaron Polburn, 2012 recipient of Competition Plus' Mike Aiello Award, for continuing to barge ahead with his normal routine, thumbing his nose at Parkinson's disease. "I have good days and I have great days. 'Bad days' doesn't even figure into it. I really don't think about it that much," he said. He calls his struggle with the illness "this little Parkinson's irritation" and "my adventure in Parkinson's Land."

Longtime John Force Racing crew chief Bernie Fedderly, for being recognized as a 2013 inductee to the International Drag Racing Hall of Fame. We can't think of a nicer man to receive the honor.

Paul Page, for his strength in accepting ESPN's decision to replace him as Mike Dunn's commentator in the NHRA drag-racing TV booth and for his ability to ignore nasty comments on Internet forums. (And a reminder to Internet forum participants. Please do share your opinions. But please do remember that you are talking about real people with real feelings and that everyone you criticize is somebody's husband/wife, son/daughter, father/mother, family member, and friend. Please don't write ugly, hurtful, personal comments about anybody.)

The Top Fuel class, for passing the national elapsed-time record around at the Reading event as if it were a hot potato. You made a rain-marred weekend worth it.

Jack Beckman, for his patience during what had to be a deflating feeling to have his team totally scrambled early in the season and for his ability to remain positive and encouraging and parlay that into the Funny Car championship. Candy canes all around in that pit, with an oversized one for crew chief Todd Smith.

Ron Capps, for his resilience in giving Jack Beckman a real run for the Funny Car championship and for his poise after Beckman beat him by two points. Said Capps, "I've already had a great career. I've made money doing it and have a great house . . . family and great cars to drive because of our sport. I plan to retire and become an owner one day. I may never win it. and it wasn't until recently I found my mentor, Ed 'Ace' McCulloch, never won the championship. I went all these years thinking he had won it multiple times. I'm OK with it."

Dave Hance, for 10 years of growing the Shakedown outlaw race at Englishtown, N.J. (and an additional Shakedown event in Florida) and trying to progress this October despite severe technical problems that were beyond his control. Also going on the Nice List are Eddie Krawiec and Alex Napp for helping find a solution.

Bill Bader Jr. and Kurt Johnson for reviving the Shakedown tradition and bringing it to Summit Motorsports Park at Norwalk, Ohio, next October.

Don Schumacher, for citing every stay-at-home DSR shop employee, name by name, after double-up victories. And for being drag-racing's lone inductee to the 2013 class of the International Motorsports Hall of Fame.

Hector Arana Jr. and Sr. for making their own statements and stirring up interest in their Pro Stock Motorcycle struggle to compete against the Harley-Davidson team. Peasants rule!

Pro Stock Motorcycle veteran Karen Stoffer for her determination and good humor in the wake of losing her GEICO funding. Would someone please trade her candy cane for a well-paying contract?

Jason Line and Allen Johnson for entertaining us with their smack talk around mid-season and the classy way Line and teammate Greg Anderson praised Johnson's championship performance at the end of the year.

Irene Mitsos, for being a great ambassador for the sport.

Mike Neff, Funny Car tuner-driver at John Force Racing, for being a class act on the track and off, including his support of Metro Ministries this Christmas season.

Sharon Byers, Coca-Cola, Mello Yello brand manager, for her genuine enjoyment of drag racing, her business sense, and her enthusiasm for making this marketing partnership shine, beginning in 2013.

Funny Car driver Matt Hagan, for his unimaginable patience while being bombarded by interviews and replays from around the globe following his spectacular engine explosion at Charlotte in the spring -- and to Pro Stock driver Shane Gray for the same reason after his car threw him for a loop, literally and figuratively, at the fall Charlotte event. 

Bob Bode, for his unfailing happy nature, even despite funding losses and a weekend of miserable weather and flooding in his pit at his own home-track race at Joliet. Always a model of grace under pressure, Bob deserves two candy canes!

Shawn Langdon, for breaking his winless streak and having late-season surge to make the Countdown interesting in Top Fuel -- and never changing his polite, good-natured attitude in either disappointment or triumph.

Steve Kent, for letting Jerry Eckman drive his car at Indianapolis and at Pomona, where he got to represent all branches the U.S. military, three Congressional Medal of Honor recipient, and a fallen U.S. Army solder in a Hot Rods for Heroes tribute. And the NHRA deserves a candy cane for reinstating Eckman as a driver.

The always-candid Bob Tasca III for his "being mad and not taking it anymore" commando attitude that brought him a victory at Dallas. He didn't make the Countdown cut, so he challenged himself and his team heading into the Dallas event. After winning Sunday, he said, "This weekend just kind of epitomized our whole season: Just keep fighting. Not making the top 10 was a lot of heartache for the guys on this team. I said to my team, 'This will be a defining six races, because I want to see what we're all made of, me included. Are we going to roll over and play dead these next six races? Or are we going to come out with some fire in us . . . and let everyone know that we may not be in this year but watch out next year?' I think this weekend was a defining weekend for our team, because we fought through some tough rounds, three motor changes in four rounds in this heat, and we put ourselves in a position to win. I did my job, and we're leaving with the trophy."

Funny Car owner-driver Cruz Pedregon, for his entertaining smack-talk at Sonoma. He set the track E.T. record (4.028-seconds) that held up as low E.T. of the meet. He climbed from his Snap-on Toyota Camry that evening and declared (alluding to Jack Beckman), "If these guys want to throw tamales, we'll throw down with them! We're California Mexicans!" Afterward, he calmed down a bit and confessed, "Aw, when I get out of the car, I get a little bit excited. Half the stuff I wish I didn't say. But I was just throwing a little heritage around here and there. It was nothing I wouldn't say to my mom." (Really? He says that to his mother? "She'd laugh," Pedregon said, adding if his family were Italian, he would talk about "throwing spaghetti and meatballs." Said Pedregon, "You know, as long as we keep it clean, I think [it's OK.]) And why not get excited? "That's what you should do," Pedregon said. "I wish earlier in my career I had been myself. I used to think I had to be this wind-up guy who thanked everybody, including my parents for having me. You got to let it hang out. I'm a Southern California guy. I'm glad I finally figured out that we don't have to be wind-up toys out there. We try to thank the sponsors, but the fans, they want to see what they guy's really like. I'm 48 years old," he said, "and I'm going to let it hang out a little bit for the rest of my career."

Pro Stock part-timer Buddy Perkinson for mobilizing quickly to travel from his home at Prince George, Va., Friday morning -- the day after his 21st birthday -- to St. Louis to fill in for Mark Martino for Cagnzaai Racing. He got the call from crew chief-driver Dave Connolly at 8:15 a.m. and arrived at the Madison, Ill., dragstrip 10 or 15 minutes before the first session. The unflappable Perkinson said he didn't worry, because "it's a steering wheel and two doors, you know? A car's a car. Every one is different, but it's still a car."
 

NAUGHTY
 
Lumps of coal go to . . .
 
 
A certain nitro class driver (and you know who you are) who embarrassed himself at the NHRA Awards Ceremony, lost his own job, disappointed many, lost respect throughout the drag-racing community, and gave an undeserved sucker-punch to the sport. You cavalierly said you hoped you could find some more money to fund a new race venture for yourself. How cowardly not to have said (without any need to go into specifics) that you acted terribly disrespectfully to someone who has been nothing but nice to you, that you feel awful about doing so, and that you have apologized to that person and hope he and the fans will forgive you. You couldn't be bothered to do that. We thought so much better of you.

We also have to toss a small chunk of coal to the offended organization for not calling out the driver, therefore allowing him to falsely let the public think his firing was the sign of an unbroken promise. (Dear Team Owner: Sometimes in trying to be HR-correct, trying to avoid grounds for some possible preposterous lawsuit, and just trying to let an ugly matter fade away, you risk allowing somebody to manipulate the reputation of the brand you have worked so diligently and fairly to establish. Setting the record straight in public requires skillful wording, but sometimes you need to send a strong message that malicious behavior will not be tolerated.

The NHRA and Harley-Davidson for making a deal that favors only one team, violates the sport's basic principles, and shows disrespect for the rest of the hard-working Pro Stock Motorcycle class.
 
The "fan" who went way over the line and sent a hateful message to Top Fuel driver Troy Buff and car owner Bill Miller because of Miller's conservative political stance. What happened to First Amendment rights that allow each of us to express opinions? What happened to tolerance? Is "choice" only desirable if somebody chooses what you would choose.

NOTE: The Naughty List is direct, certainly, but it is short. We like it that way. Plenty of naughty things probably have gone on during the year that we didn't mention, but the Christmas angels spoke about "good tidings of great joy." So we try to minimize the attention on the unlovely actions we remember and focus instead on the positive ones. And we probably left out a lot of those, too. Anyone who reads this and gives us "Bah, Humbug!" has the right to do that. But try to let your heart be renewed by the longer list of nice folks and their acts of kindness. Merry Christmas.  

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