No one ever wants to deal with the death of a loved one.

Unfortunately, Jim Oberhofer, the Vice President of Operations and crew chief for Doug Kalitta’s Top Fuel dragster, had to deal with his wife Tammy Oberhofer’s death on June 18, 2013 after her year-long battle with cancer. Tammy was office manager at Kalitta Motorsports, where Jim O has worked for over two decades.

No one ever wants to deal with the death of a loved one.

Unfortunately, Jim Oberhofer, the Vice President of Operations and crew chief for Doug Kalitta’s Top Fuel dragster, had to deal with his wife Tammy Oberhofer’s death on June 18, 2013 after her year-long battle with cancer. Tammy was office manager at Kalitta Motorsports, where Jim O has worked for over two decades.

After going through the emotional heartache of his wife’s death, Jim O, as he is known, wants to share the experience he went through to ultimately try and help others in the same situation.

With the help of his daughter Ashley and others, Jim O felt the best way to convey his message to the masses was by writing a book. The book, which its titled “Top Fuel For Life – Life Lessons From A Crew Chief,” is in the process of being written and the major challenge of getting a book published is the cost, so Jim O has a kickstarter campaign taking place until Dec. 3.

People may see how they can donate and get involved with Jim O’s kickstarter campaign by visiting the following link: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/topfuel/top-fuel-for-life-life-lessons-from-a-crew-chief #kalittastrong Mac Tools NHRA.

“We started the kickstarter campaign to try and raise funds to get the book published,” Jim O said. “It costs a lot of money to do that. Hopefully by Dec. 3 we will have some good news and can move forward.”

Ashley also works for Kalitta Motorsports as the team’s Social Media Coordinator.

“The idea (for the book) came up after the (2013) season was over,” Jim O said. “For some reason, I just felt like I wanted to try and help people after losing my wife, Tammy. I wanted to help people who were in a similar situation. When my wife was really sick and in the hospital, there were plenty of days you are just sitting in there and not knowing what is going to happen. There are groups you can go to who will help you, and my daughter Ashley and I we talked about it and we attempted to go to these groups and it was very depressing. You go into these groups and it’s like doom and gloom. Everyone has a loved one who is in the process of dying or something like that. We just didn’t want to do that. We wanted to create some sort of positive atmosphere, so my daughter didn’t want anybody to come visit her mother unless they were going to be positive about it. There’s no crying or anything like that in the hospital. After (Tammy) passed my daughter was strong at the services and something came over me and I wanted to share with people that there’s a different way of going about things and creating happiness. What I learned through all this is that the best medication that there is out there by far is just being happy.”

Jim O said he learned about the power of happiness shortly before his wife passed.

“It was probably about three weeks before my wife passed and she was in a lot of pain,” Jim O said. “We had a pain pump inside of her that was feeding her medication constantly and the cancer had spread everywhere. It was in her brain, it was in her spine. It was everywhere. I remember getting her some ice cream. All she wanted was ice cream. I gave her that ice cream and for the 15 minutes she ate her ice cream she was pain free. She was happy. She was smiling. It hit me at that point, holy crap, all this time you worry about this and that, but when I gave her that ice cream she was happy. At that point I realized I have been missing this all along. She had been sick for 12 months prior to that and I didn’t understand what was going on and I didn’t understand why she was sick. I didn’t understand why she was having a bad day and I was getting defensive about things. When she had that ice cream, it all made sense and I learned a huge lesson at that point and from that point on I just decided happiness was the cure for everything.”

Jim O also acknowledged that remaining happy in his line of work isn’t easy.

“In drag racing, we depend on results to make us happy,” Jim O said. “We depend on running low ET of the world and we depend on winning races and championships. My take is that if that is the only thing that makes you happy then I feel like that is pretty sad because there are so many more important things in this world than winning a Top Fuel world championship or a Funny Car world championship or winning races. There’s things going on out in this world that are way more important than winning a drag race. It really put things in perspective for me and I really decided at that point that I wanted to focus on making myself happy first before going to a drag race. It is a tough thing to do and I have to work try to practice what I preach, which is hard because we are all competitive out here. But, when it is all said and done, it is just a drag race. I get to spend time with (Ashley) and a lot of my peers and guys like Connie Kalitta, and Doug Kalitta and Cowboy Bob, who are like my family and all these people who mean the world to me.”

Jim O said the book has a simple message he wants to get across.

“What the book is generally about is trying to make yourself happy in ways you wouldn’t think possible,” Jim O said. “I want people to learn from my mistakes. It will be about my feelings and what I went through and how I combatted the negatives that were going on in my life. We are hoping if we are able to put the funding together and get the book published my ultimate goal with the proceeds from the book we want to form a charity that would allow underprivileged children or children with disabilities to come to the drag races and experience drag racing. That’s something that is very important to me and it was important to Tammy. I want to bring smiles and happiness to these kids. I would love to be able to entertain 50 kids a weekend.”

The passing of his wife was the catalyst for Jim O’s book, but he acknowledged his thoughts have also been shaped by losing friends like Blaine Johnson and Scott Kalitta to on-track racing tragedies.

Johnson died on Aug. 31, 1996 after he crossed the finish line during a qualifying run. Kalitta, meanwhile, died on June 21, suffering fatal injuries during the final round of qualifying for the Lucas Oil NHRA SuperNationals at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park.

“I was really getting to know Blaine well,” Jim O said. “I remember how hard that was on the whole family, and I learned something from that. Then, Darrell Russell and then Eric Medlen died and my daughter just loved Eric Medlen and that was hard on her. It kind of opened my eyes a little bit that death was becoming more prominent in my life. I remember when Scott was killed. That was devastating. Scott was like my big brother and I always thought he was indestructible. I learned from Connie Kalitta and how he handled things, he was amazing. He’s an amazing guy and people don’t give him the credit he deserves. Connie was very emotional, and then all of a sudden he realized there’s nothing he could do about it now and it was like he took the whole sport of drag racing and put it on his shoulders. He got me to change my attitude and be strong through this and that experience taught me a lot.”

According to Jim O, in December of 2012 he was prepared for what was going to happen to Tammy.

“I looked at her and I realized she was not going to be here this time next year,” Jim O said. “That’s when I really started cherishing that time with her. My daughter and I both prepared for it. That last six months I had with her, even though she was very sick and in a lot of pain, were definitely the best times I ever had with her. I needed to be there for her. With the experiences I’ve had it has allowed me to turn my life around in a better direction. I’m so far from perfect and I have a long way to go, but I want to practice what I preach. If (the book) can take one person and give them a positive outlook on life or make one person after reading it that’s all I care about.”

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