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’Twas Christmas in NASCAR and all through the realm 
All the geniuses gathered to look at the film 
Of crashes and comebacks and breathtaking rallies
But also bad crowds and poor ratings tallies
At least Dale Junior was still on the tube. 

Though not till the summer after all the Fox rubes 
D.W. and Larry in all of their fury. 
Hoping for grammar from Jamie McMurray.
The experts agreed the next round of changes. 
Would put racing again at the top of the ranges. 

Increasing the incidence of plates that restrict. 
Was bound to create a sport more perfect.
A new young champion had emerged from the mist. 
Driving a Ford, which had been quite the twist

Though Logano was tall and goofy lookin’ 
There could be no doubt he’d done some maturin’.
Meanwhile the others went back to the shop 
And pondered regaining a place at the top

Busch and Harvick regretted their misses
And Truex got used to a new set of pieces.
The schedule was set at all the same places
Where contracts forced NASCAR to keep open its bases

Some wanted short tracks and lobbied for dirt
Others said just give us something that works.
Go back to Nashville, spruce up Rockingham
Go to more road courses from here to Siam
Run a roval through all of the infields
In Iowa there’s a track that once was a cornfield.

Ethnic diversity will find its own way
If a kid with no money can find victory lane
Where once the stars were working-class heroes
The rich kids now don’t even do windows.

The best way to put NASCAR back on its feet
Is somehow get kids to return to the seats
As fans get older, it seems more precise
That they think a big screen will have to suffice.

Hope springs eternal in the holiday season
That imperial NASCAR will find the right reason
To stop the collapse and figurative bleedin’
Make it cool again for folks to like speedin’.