St. Nick has a lot to be jolly about when he starts naming all the well-behaved drag-racing boys and girls and counting out candy canes for them.
But you’d better watch out. You’d better not cry. Go ahead -- you can knock yourself out pouting if you’re on the Naughty List, expecting a lump of coal in your stocking. But just remember . . . If you’re on there, you deserved it.
Actually, both lists could have been much longer. Our apologies to the deserving Nice List candidates. The Naughty List “unmentionables” should breathe a sigh of relief and be thankful.
Now, don’t be writing Santa any nasty letters c/o Competition Plus. He’s too busy wondering if he’ll make next season’s “Biggest Loser” cast while trying to justify cramming down sleighloads of cookies, Lebkuchen, and pan de pascua during his gluttonous global Christmas Eve whirlwind tour.
So save it – and just be nice so we don’t have to have a Naughty List at all next Christmas.