Mike Kern knows his job, by definition, nearly is impossible.

The crew chief for T.J. Zizzo’s Rust-Oleum Dragster said, “We as crew chiefs are tasked with taking an internal combustion engine to the extreme and propelling a 2300-plus pound vehicle down a racetrack quicker and faster than the guy in the other lane. That, in and of itself, is a monumental task. 
 
“Everything has to be d*** near perfect for it work correctly. The parts have to be perfect, the crew has to assemble it correctly, the crew chief has to make the right call, and the driver has to cut a good light and keep it in the groove,” he said. “Each one of these things taken individually is not the hardest thing in the world to achieve. Taken collectively, you have a recipe for disaster if it is not done right.” 
 
So maybe it truly is a miracle that fulltime Top Fuel drivers Antron Brown, Brittany Force, JR Todd, Clay Millican (and semi-regular Leah Pritchett) and Funny Car regulars Del Worsham, Ron Capps, Tim Wilkerson, Alexis DeJoria, and Terry Haddock have no oildowns so far this season.
 
But the roll call of major offenders also is a Who’s Who of NHRA drag racing. Doug Kalitta has five oildowns.  Morgan Lucas Racing has a total of seven (four for the boss, three for Richie Crampton), and Bob Vandergriff Racing has been cited six times (Larry Dixon and Dave Connolly three times each). In Funny Car, John Force Racing leads the way with eight: four from the team owner and two each from Courtney Force and Robert Hight. Brothers Cruz and Tony Pedregon each have five violations. Part-time racer Bob Bode and dominator Jack Beckman have three apiece.
 

So, as Terry McMillen – whose latest oildown triggered a change in the NHRA’s penalty policy – said, “Oildowns happen to everyone.”

They do, and it was becoming a lucrative revenue stream for the NHRA. With engine explosions from Connolly and Pat Dakin in the first two pairs and then one from McMillen, the NHRA cash register was ringing far faster last Sunday at Charlotte than the three-and four-second Top Fuel dragsters could complete the opening round of the Carolina Nationals.

By the oildown-fine structure in place at the time, the sanctioning body stood to rake in $18,000 just within the first six pairings of the 2015 Countdown to the Championship. Connolly’s cost $6,000, Dakin’s $4,000, and McMillen’s a steep $8,000. The sanctioning body announced late last Tuesday that at least for now, it has capped the escalating penalties for oildowns at $3,000. (It will charge $1,000 for the first violation, $2,000 for the second, and $3,000 for the third and subsequent occurrences).

Now that the NHRA has dialed back oildown penalties to a relatively acceptable level, the discussion of how to prevent the engine explosions has moved to the front burner.

NHRA’s prepared statement said it “will work with teams, manufacturers, the PRO, and others in the sport who can contribute to reducing and containing oildowns.”
 
NHRA President Peter Clifford said, “Improving competition, which improves the fan experience, is one of the most important initiatives NHRA is working on. Working together, we are confident we will find solutions to minimize oildowns and to improve competition and the fan experience.”
 
Specifically, the NHRA said in its statement that “crew chiefs have been asked to share more detailed information with the Tech Department on the root cause of each oildown to aid in technical analysis and prevention practices, and the Tech Department will share oildown data across all teams. NHRA’s own Safety Safari team has also implemented new techniques to speed cleanup.”
 
McMillen said, “I think we should all thank NHRA executives for their interest in exploring alternatives and willingness to address the oildown penalties. The new policy, which includes an open line of communication between all crew chiefs and the Safety Safari, should prove to further reduce oil downs and more importantly for us, reduce the kind of explosions that stress team budgets. The NHRA is proving that we all have the same goals: make a better show for the fans and keep drag racing competitive and safe for everyone. I want to specifically thank Peter Clifford and Graham Light for their efforts to work with all race teams. I believe their efforts exemplify NHRA’s commitment to taking our sport to the next level. I’m excited about our future.”
 
Niceties aside, McMillen is back at the business of confronting his causes. His crew chief, Rob Wendland, and assistant crew chief Bob Peck are looking at a two-piece intake manifold that Chad Head had been testing on his Funny Car. They’re learning how to adapt it to the Amalie Oil / UNOH Dragster. Wendland has been consulting with Jim Head, John Boyce, and Tom Shelar.  
 
“This manifold is designed to be one large burst panel instead of trying to contain the explosion within the manifold,” Wendland said. “We’ll be the first dragster to use it. We want to do whatever we can to contain oil in these types of events. But, we also need to keep the intake manifold from flying off the car and potentially cutting a tire or hitting a fellow racer or flying into the grandstands. We hope this new two-piece manifold addresses these issues.”
 
According to data the NHRA released, rods seems to be the culprits in the majority of oildown problems. That accounts for 52.3 percent of the incidents in Top Fuel and 65.7 percent among Funny Cars. So that seems like the logical place to focus.   
 
All the analysis, and semi-forgiveness, from the NHRA is commendable, but it didn’t come in time to help Zizzo’s program. He arrived at the U.S. Nationals at Indianapolis already knowing that he would be scrapping several fall races he had planned to attend, largely because of increasing costs. So it was no help at all to the popular Top Fuel driver when his dragster experienced three engine explosions during the Labor Day weekend.
 
Kern said of oildowns, “I don't think you could ever eliminate them. The nature of what we do makes it part of the process. Pushing things to their limit is the name of the game. Can it be minimized? Hopefully. I do know that we now make more power than ever before and with that comes breaking things sooner rather than later. Even if you put new everything on every run, it would still happen. So reducing the power is another avenue.
 
“I do have few suggestions, some better than others, but suggestions nonetheless,” he said.
 
“One idea would be to limit traction. Removing a wing element on [a Top Fuel dragster] or reducing the spill plates on a Funny Car would be a place to start,” Kern said.
 
“I was once told by another crew chief that if they did that, the cars would spin the tires. I replied back that if you spin the tires you will slow it down until it doesn't spin the tires, just like you do when the track is hot,” he said. “If you always had to run slower due to track conditions, you may just opt to calm the car down all of the time. 
 
Steve Chrisman already has started to sell all his Top Fuel equipment and walk away from the sport he loves and that his dad Jack and uncle Art helped pioneer. And he said Kern’s idea isn’t a bad one.
 
He said chassis builder Brad Hadman told him “that in the last 15 years, there’s been, like, 35,000 runs made in Top Fuel and they’ve had five or six failures in 35,000 runs. Really? And now we have to change it?” He was referring to chassis rules changes for 2017 that reportedly are in the works. “Slow the cars down, and everything you have right now is safe enough. You’ve already tested it at 335 miles an hour. Make the cars run 320 and everything is already safe enough.”
 
He said the NHRA told Hadman that the data shows the basic chassis is fine as is. Chrisman said, “What do you test? How about this: The cars go down the racetrack and they don’t fly in two? That’s the best test. If they don’t fly in two at 335 [mph], then you make them run 320 and they won’t fly apart. So you’ve already made them safer by slowing them down 10 or 15 miles an hour, which is a very simple way of doing it. But they won’t do it.”   
 
With elapsed times dropping not quite like a broken elevator but rapidly nevertheless and speeds climbing in seemingly significant increments, the NHRA has to work with Goodyear, among other vendors, to make sure technology isn’t accelerating faster than the parts and equipment can accommodate.
 
“Along those same lines,” Kern suggested, “limit track prep to once per day and let the teams figure it out.”
 
Chrisman agreed. “Then you slow the cars down the way you want to, not the way they tell you [that] you have to,” he said. “When we start smoking the tires in the middle [of the 1,000-foot course], then you say, ‘OK, this is [the way it’s prepped]. The slower cars can smoke the tires in the middle, so that means they have enough horsepower.’ Now all the big guys have to bring their cars back to that. That makes everything equal – and you don’t have to change one part on your car.”  
 
Kern said, “Another would be to limit the power of the cars. With insurance and suppliers worried about liability, it is definitely a consideration,” he said. “I do know that NHRA is looking into this. What they are planning, if anything, I do not know.”
 
He said, “The initial thought I had was to shrink the cubic inch (I say 3.750-inch crank instead of 4.5-inch), as was briefly tested a while back. If you have less to work with, it will use less fuel and make less power. It would take some time to figure out, as it would maybe stress other parts more. But these guys [crew chiefs] are all smart or they wouldn't be doing this.
 
“I just don't want them (NHRA) to try and limit something like blowers or pumps. The RPM limiters are already bad enough,” Kern said. “If they did blowers or fuel pumps, it would become too much to police.” His thought was to “start with a restriction of the base design and let them innovate again.  Otherwise, everything becomes cookie cutter.”
 
The NHRA and its teams understand (or at least should understand) they need to get a handle on this situation immediately, with live TV coverage on a highly visible platform looming for 2016 and dwindling numbers in the grandstands. It is impossible to deny the grandstands at Indianapolis and Charlotte (among others) were well below capacity, although some venues – such as Epping, N.H., for example – were strong each day, all day long. And live TV will bring shorter turnaround times and therefore a greater chance of servicing mistakes.
 
Among Chrisman’s extensive list of frustrations with the NHRA is the notion of that TV-dictated short turnaround time.
 
“It’s dangerous,” he said.
 
As for cost-effectiveness, Chrisman said, “We had enough parts, but we would have to buy some more mags [magnetos] and stuff and have complete motors to switch around, because there’s no way you could [service the car that quickly]. So how are you going to be able to do that without buying a bunch more parts?

It seems one problem easily can blend or morph into yet another.
   
So the questions will continue, and the expectation is that together the sanctioning body, teams, and manufacturers/suppliers will co-operate to find the answers. But in a sport that trades on quick and fast, the wheels of positive and effective change usually grind slowly.

And maybe oildowns will simply prove to be an annoyance that can’t be eradicated, like cockroaches or kudzu vines. What’s important for now is that the NHRA recognizes the problem and the need to fix it in a way that even the lesser-funded teams can live with.