The reality of the loss took a while to sink in for Fast Jack Beckman, the two-time NHRA champion with a reputation of doing things fast. 

Beckman drives the Infinite Hero Dodge Charger Funny Car, a Funny Car designed to bring awareness to the plight of injured soldiers returning home with debilitating injuries and funded solely by longtime drag racing fan and philanthropist Terry Chandler. 

Following the first day of qualifying for the NHRA Fallen Heroes Route 66 Nationals, the enormity of losing Chandler hit him dead-center as he reflected on a day of racing his 10,000 horsepower entry. 

Chandler passed away on July 4, following a brave battle against brain cancer. 

His day in the office hadn't been bad, a 3.856 elapsed time at 330.23 miles per hour locked him provisionally and solidly into the second spot. 

“I was watching some TV before I went to sleep, and that’s when it really hit me that tomorrow Terry’s going to be laid to rest,” Beckman said. “That they’re going to have a funeral service and take her to the cemetery. That really is the last physical connection you’re going to have to a person on this planet, and we couldn’t go.” 

Chandler loved her drivers, Beckman and Tommy Johnson Jr., and her teams, but getting recognition for her charitable causes Infinite Hero Foundation and the Make A Wish program, meant just as much. 

Beckman understood Chandler would have been adamant the show had to go on. These causes needed to reach as many people as they could, and being parked would defeat her mission. 

Beckman, a cancer survivor himself, lived vicariously through Don and Megan Schumacher, who attended the private ceremony Saturday on behalf of the entire Don Schumacher Racing operation.

Still, there remains a measure of regret buried in Beckman's heart which floated to the top in the emotional moment of Saturday morning's wee hours. 

"I think there was always the thought in my mind that we’d have more time with her," Beckman admitted. "Even if the disease was going to be terminal, there would be a time; there would be that closure, that face to face time. And in a way, I feel cheated that we never got that. I’m sure a lot of people feel that way. 

"I know a lot of fans were expecting to see her back at the race track. I feel like she got cheated. I feel like from the time of her diagnosis to the time of her passing, because of the brain swelling and other complications, she just didn’t have that many good days. She didn’t have that much time to come to terms with things. 

"And then it kind of hit me that the other side of this, the silver lining part is that maybe the last three years were some of the best years of her life out here."

Beckman's sentiment was validated in the service when a large bulk of the photos shown at the service were of her moments with the team and the guests her charity-based Funny Cars brought to the races.  

"Megan brought me back a card from her funeral service with a beautiful picture of Terry, and it’s stuck in the seat insert of the car," Beckman said.  "So it’s going to be going with me; I think that we all want to maintain some sort of connection to our loved ones. And with Terry, you don’t need to look any further than the sides of our race cars or our transporters to see her impact. It’s a chance for us to maintain her legacy out here."

After all, Beckman knew first-hand of Chandler's ability to impact a situation, because he was the benefactor of her passion for drag racing. In 2014, she teamed with Don Schumacher to field the initial Infinite Hero awareness tour. And, just two seasons ago, Beckman was staring down a bleak future when his primary sponsor decided to go elsewhere with their marketing dollars. 

At best, Beckman was looking at a part-time schedule; at worst he was out of professional drag racing. 

"Terry was incredibly passionate about everything Infinite Hero represents," Beckman explained. "These combat veterans voluntarily enlist, get sent off to a foreign land, and they get injured. Whether it’s a brain injury or physical injury, they come back less whole than they were when they left. And we’ve done a lot of positive things to change their lives. And she loved, loved, loved our veterans."

Beckman believes in the time he was associated with Chandler he was able to see directly into the heart of an angel. 

"I don’t know that the average person could understand Terry and the depth of her caring for children," Beckman continued. "And all the things she did behind the scenes in New Mexico for kids that were disadvantaged. And all the things she did for kids who didn’t get any breaks early in life, to try and give them a chance at a 'normal life." 

"But to see her, Terry was such a busy body. She was a little Nervous Nellie about so many things. Fastidious and running around and like a person that’s late for work, in a little bit of a panic mode sometimes, until it came time for the Make-A-Wish kids. It was like somebody flipped a switch in that woman. She just took that metaphorical deep breath and was in her element surrounded by kids that were having a better day because of something she did. And I don’t know if she knew it was something she did. 

"I think she was so immersed in loving being around them; I don’t know that she ever realized it was because of her that they were having that. And it wasn’t just the kids; it was their families. It was a chance for the parents to have a day with their kids where their kids weren’t sick. As a father, that really hit home. I’m not sure I would have appreciated that before my children were born." 

As Beckman heads into Denver, he's ready to put his game face on and go out to bring awareness to the Infinite Hero Foundation, his primary reason for racing. Winning is just the icing on the cake. 

He'll certainly have some alone time, and most likely those thoughts will be consumed with thoughts of Chandler, and his regrets of not being able to say goodbye the way he wanted to. 

If given a chance, he runs over the scenario in his mind.

"You know, at the end of the day I don’t know that you’d need to speak any words," Beckman admitted. "I think just to hold her hand would have sufficed for both of us. I just think the eye contact and holding her hand; I think sometimes that’s enough."

And for a person who presents his words eloquently, the silence would be golden.