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Pretty
Fly... (for an old guy)
Truisms 1. The best way to get even is to forget... 2. Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death... 3. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts... 4. Some folks wear their halos much too tight... 5. Some marriages are made in heaven, but they ALL have to be maintained on earth... 6. Unless you can create the WHOLE universe in 5 days, Then perhaps giving "advice" to God, isn't such a good idea! 7. Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks up... 8. Standing in the middle of the road is dangerous. You will get knocked down by the traffic from both ways. 9. Words are windows to the heart. 10. A skeptic is a person who when he sees the hand-writing on the wall, claims it's a forgery. 11. It isn't difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill - just add a little dirt. 12. A successful marriage isn't finding the right person - it's being the right person. 13. The mighty oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground. 14. Too many people offer God prayers, with claw marks all over them. 15. The tongue must be heavy indeed, because so few people can hold it. 16. To forgive is to set the prisoner free, and then discover the prisoner was you. 17. You have to wonder about humans, they think God is dead and Elvis is alive! 18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done. 19. You'll notice that a turtle only makes progress when it sticks out its neck... 20. If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher. 21. "The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything." And last but not least -- God gave the angels Wings, and He gave humans CHOCOLATE........... During the trips to and from the hotel and track at Virginia Motorsports Park, I again saw the road sign for Richard C. Bland College. A few years ago, the CompetitionPlus.com crew became silly at 3am and penned some thought about Bland college. The notes seemed funny at 3am and I thought I would reprise them after our latest trip to VMP Apologies to the founder and alumni of Richard Bland College in Petersburg, Va. During our daily commute to the track in Dinwiddie, the CompetitionPlus.com travel van passed the sign that identified that college. During the morning trip, we were usually in somewhat of a hurry and didn’t have much time to dwell upon the college or it’s name. However, late in the evening, on our return trip, we managed to offer a few rounds of discussion surrounding the name of the founder and the possible things that might be associated with Bland College. The following excepts were gleaned from the conversations in our four trips passed Bland College during the middle of the night when we were all a little punch drunk from a long day at the track: The Dean of Bland College is probably named Dulles Canby. Curriculum most likely includes the following subjects: -Making vanilla cake 101 -Invisible Penmanship -Indecision 102 School colors should be Beige and Off White. Motto is "We are neither for nor against Apathy" Team cheer: "Go Team, if you’re ready and feel like it. It is totally up to you" or as an alternative cheer: "Push em back. But be careful, you can put out an eye" Team name: Nondescripts School sport: Chess. They were three-time county runner up Prom Queen: Jane Doe Thespian class attendee received honorary mention in the citywide Shakespearean "Much ado about nothing" festival. Again, I offer my apologies to the fine folks at Bland College. I always find it odd how the mind works when it is tired and in need of rest. But at least it made me giggle. At a race recently I met a grandmother and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles. Several children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with their favorite car or number. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!" The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why just name me one thing that's more beautiful than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles." Why I fear Eagles and turtles: Aeschylus, a Greek playwright in 500 BC, who many historians consider the father of Greek tragedies. How he died: An eagle dropped a tortoise on his head. According to
legend, eagles picked up tortoises and attempt to crack them open by
dropping them on rocks. An eagle mistook Aeschylus' head for a rock (he
was bald like me) and dropped it on him instead.. a
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