The Busy World of "Captain Chaos"
by Jim Samuel; Photos by Roger Richards

Spend half an hour on the phone with Kenny Koretsky and you’ll know why he’s called “Captain Chaos.”

That’s because Koretsky can’t just talk on the telephone. At the same time he’s giving an interview, he’s driving to the post office, stopping at the dry cleaner, meeting with business associates and taking other phone calls.

It’s all part of a normal day for the 46-year old professional drag racer from Pennsylvania. In addition to his drag racing program, Koretsky has several businesses, including a sand and gravel company, a stone company, a motorcycle dealership (Bucks County Kawasaki), a few car washes and a real estate development company.

“We have eight corporations but my main business is the (real estate) development company,” Koretsky said, adding that he is currently the eighth-largest landowner in the state of Pennsylvania.

“The ‘Captain Chaos’ name came from Warren Johnson,” Koretsky said. “He’s the one who started to call me Captain Chaos because I juggle so many things. It’s the only way I can get things done.”

To those who don’t know about his drag racing efforts, Koretsky appears to be a man who is living the American Dream. A successful entrepreneur, Koretsky lives in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, near Philadelphia, in a large house that was originally built for ex-National Basketball Association (NBA) player Charles Barkley. He also has homes on Margate, NJ, near Atlantic City, and in Florida, where he also builds custom homes.

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But those who know more about him know that Koretsky has been drag racing for 30 years and has driven just about every class of car there is, from Top Fuel to Stock Eliminator.

“I’ve been racing for a long time,” Korestsky said, adding that he started racing in 1974 and spent a lot of time at the track at Atco Raceway in Atco, NJ and Maple Grove Raceway in Mohnton, Pennsylvania.

In fact, when asked to name some of the highlights of his career, he quickly mentions an accomplishment from his early days of racing. “One of the highlights was when I won the A/SA class at Atco in 1976,” he said. But then, he quickly mentions another accomplishment: a weekend in Phoenix back in 1990 when he became the first driver to qualify both a Top Fuel car and a Pro Stock car for the same race.

“I think the biggest thing was when I qualified the Top Fuel and Pro Stock cars at Phoenix,” Koretsky said. “And we didn’t just qualify the cars. We went some rounds in both.”

That weekend, Koretsky qualified his Top Fuel dragster in the 15th spot in the order and beat Lori Johns in the first round. In Pro Stock, he qualified in the 11th spot in the order and beat Larry Morgan in the first round of eliminations. But in the second round, Koretsky crashed the Top Fuel car at the end of the track during a second-round loss to Gary Ormsby. That meant that he was not able to answer the call for the second round of eliminations in Pro Stock and he gave the win to Bruce Allen.

One of his most recent highlights came this year in Indianapolis, when he made it all the way to the Pro Stock finals before losing to Greg Anderson. Koretsky was the number seven qualifier for the Pro Stock field there with a 6.812-second elapsed time at 201.82 miles per hour.

He beat Allen Johnson in the first round, Larry Morgan in the second round and Mike Edwards in round three to get into the first final round of his Pro Stock career. In the final against Anderson, Koretsky had the quicker start, with an 0.037-second reaction time to Anderson’s 0.051-second RT, but Anderson quickly got by Koretsky and went on to capture a record-setting 13th Pro Stock win in the 2004 season. Koretsky’s elapsed time for the final round was 6.870 seconds while Anderson covered the quarter mile in 6.839 seconds.

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“The lane at Indy got me,“ Koretsky said, referring to the right lane which had been the slower lane all weekend. “If I had been in the other lane, I think I could have gotten it,” he said.

While making the final round at Indy was his biggest accomplishment of the 2004 season so far, the entire year has been among Koretsky’s best. He’s already qualified for all for every race on the schedule except for early-season events in Phoenix and Houston.

“We’ve qualified in the top half of the field in more than half the races this year,” Koretsky said, adding that during the recent race at Maple Grove Raceway in Mohnton, Pa., he held the number one spot in the qualifying order until Anderson and Jason Line got past him in the final round. “We were the first car in the six-sixties,” Koretsky said of qualifying at Maple Grove.

Koretsky attributes much of his success this season to the engines he gets from Larry Morgan and the support he receives from Dodge.

“I’m very fortunate that I have a deal with Larry Morgan,” Koretsky said, “I get a lot of help from Dodge, including the aerodynamic package.”

He said that the team’s performance improved during the season because “We found some horsepower.”

In the beginning of the year, teams were all getting used to new tires, bead-lock rims and other rules changes, Koretsky explained, Some teams, such as Anderson’s, got used to them more quickly while “other teams took a few extra weeks.”

Though he’s raced everything from Top Fuel dragsters to Stock Eliminator, Koretsky said that he likes the Pro Stock division the most. “I think Pro Stock is the most fun,” he said. “There’s a lot going on when you drive the car. I like the fact that you have to shift gears.”

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Though he is not a full-time racer, Koretsky spends at least half his waking hours working on his racing efforts, with the remainder of his time going toward his other business activities.

“Eddie Guarnaccia, my crew chief, handles a lot of the load but racing still takes up about 50 percent of my time,” Koretsky says. The pair work out of a 10,000-square foot shop in Fairless Hills, Pa., not far from Koretsky’s home. Right now, the shop just houses offices for him and Guarnaccia, but Koretsky say he could quickly move his entire racing operation into it in a matter of days. “If we had to make a move, we could be in a new place in a week,” he said, explaining that his Dodge Stratus racecar usually stays in its hauler in Tennessee when it is not at a racetrack.

Koretsky said he has no idea how long he’ll stay in the driver’s seat. “I’m having a lot of fun,” he said. “I’ll keep doing it as long as it doesn’t get financially out-of-control. I think you need a million-five to run one of these cars.”

The rising cost of racing is the aspect of the sport that Koretsky does not like. “The only thing I don’t like is the ongoing motor development,” he said, adding that even though he leases engines from Morgan, he still maintains an engine development program of his own.

While the cost of Pro Stock racing is a concern to Koretsky, he said his favorite part of the sport is the people he meets every time he goes to the racetrack. “I like the fans,” he said. “It’s like a big family at all the races.”

Because it is located less than 90 minutes from his home and businesses, the race at Maple Grove Raceway is always a big one for Koretsky, with hundreds of friends, family and business associates gathered at the track to watch him race. “Maple Grove was a hard race for us to do,” he said. “We entertained 500 people in our hospitality tent. I didn’t have time to meet with everyone who was there.”

Those who have known Koretsky for a long time tell him that he has not changed at all over the years. “People that know me tell me ‘You’re the same guy you were 20 years ago.’” He said, adding that he does not think about the celebrity that is attached to being a professional drag racer.

“My philosophy is that we all eat and (defecate) the same way,” said Koretsky.

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