Best of... Our Favorite Quotes
100 Issues of Classic Overheard

We’re always hearing stuff. One of our treats has been the Classic Overheard quotes section that traditionally has followed the Unsubstantiated Rumors section. We dug through 100 issues of quotes leading up to 2004 for your enjoyment.

1999

“You mean to tell me that Alice Cooper is drag racing now?” 
A fan in the stands at the New York International Raceway for the CARQUEST Empire Nationals when Tommy Gray, Jr., and his crew came out during the Night Of Fire session with the Grim Reaper garb.  

“I just want to rent the thing; I don’t want to make payments” 
POWERSHIELD COATINGS owner Art McElwee to the golf cart rental company representative at IHRA events regarding their exorbitant rates of $75 per day rental.

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“I told you I was going to whup him like a rented mule”
Jim McClure to ESPN2 announcer Ken Stout on his holeshot victory over John Mancuso in the Nitro Harley finals during the Northern Nationals.

“If Jimmy can pass gas, then he will get into the field”   
IHRA announcer Ken Stout referring to Jimmy Rector's first qualifying attempt that was tossed due to a failure to pass fuel check after the first session.

“Yes I meant to do it. Those knotheads don't realize that it puts them a little bit closer to the finish line.”   
Shirley Muldowney to ESPN2 announcer Ken Stout on whether or not she intentionally deep-staged during the first round match against Paul Romine during the telecast of the CARQUEST Northern Nationals.

“I’d take her at any age.”
IHRA announcer Ed O'Reilly talking about former Playboy Bunny turned Funny Car driver Bunny Burkett at the President's Cup Nationals.  

“I just got my ass half-chewed out by the nitrous racers.” 
IHRA VP Len Imbrogno to CP.Com editor Bobby Bennett after a meeting with Pro Modified nitrous advocates during the World Finals.
 

“Does this mean that you're now a half-assed official?"
Bennett's response to Imbrogno.

2000

“The bad thing is that there are some competitors that have cheated the fuel so long that's all they know. 0nce a gangster, always a gangster.”
Larry Morgan on the new spec fuel for Pro Stock

“Finishing runner-up is like being on a diet and someone putting a chocolate cake with a mound of ice cream in your face and just as your about to eat it, your trainer snatches it away.”    
Gary Scelzi on how it feels to finish runner-up

“But, dad…he wasn't getting out of his and I wasn't going to get out mine.”
Junior dragster racer Kelli Bennett, ten-year old son of editor Bobby Bennett, Jr., when being disciplined for not stopping at the eighth-mile and running 75-miles per hour in the quarter-mile in his junior dragster.  

“They ran them slow enough so that everyone in the stands had a good opportunity to see the sponsor's name.”    
A spectator at the recent CSK Nationals when the two CSK-sponsored cars met in the first round of competition and both smoked the tires all the way down the track.

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“With 30 points, where does Ray Alley stand in the points standings?”  
Daily Bulletin senior editor Louis Brewster commenting on the number of points fines assessed to the nitro cars at Phoenix.   

“If an engine could talk, I think that one said the "F" word.”  
Announcer Aaron Polburn, after a drag racer wounded an engine in qualifying.

“I built the '49 Merc to emulate my youth. The only thing is…this one doesn't have a back seat.” –
Johnny Rocca talking on the PA system during the IHRA Prolong Winter Nationals.

“This guy has won a lot of races, he won…uh…uh…what the hell did he win?”  
IHRA President Bill Bader Announcing Sportsman Eliminations At The Prolong Winter Nationals in Darlington, SC. He has since been banned from the microphone.  

 “He probably had one hand on the wheel and the other on the body…”  
Announcer Bob Frey at the Gatornationals when Kenny Sayers had his Funny Car body collapse while pulling into the burnout box.
 

 “Have you ever seen so many bad haircuts in one place?” –
A fan standing outside of Scotty Cannon's Pit Area At Gainesville.   

"As long as Tim Richards loves me, no one else has to - not even my mom.”  
Whit Bazemore when told that crew chief Tim Richards loved him after a first round victory at the O'Reilly Nationals in Houston.  

 “The guy who doesn't run out of gas first is going to win this one…”  
NHRA announcer Bob Frey commented on the burndown between Rickie Smith and Darrell Alderman at the O'Reilly Nationals in Houston that lasted 1 minute and 50 seconds with both cars pre-staged.  

“Typical Todd Goodman…launch hard…wheels-up... shut-off.”  
IHRA announcer Polburn with more graphic descriptions during the Holley Spring Nationals in Rockingham, NC.

“I looked over and all I saw was teeth, it scared the hell out of me…”  
John Force running against Scotty Cannon in the semi-finals at the Moto1.net Nationals in the semi-finals in reference to the wild graphic designs on his flopper.

“I grew up on a farm and we had hogs. We always used to fatten them up before we killed them.”  
Warren Johnson when quizzed about his concerns about Jeg Coughlin, Jr. winning so many races early in the season.

“I consider it to be like going on a date with an old girlfriend. It's fun all over again.”    
Whit Bazemore on running his old flopper after grenading a tire at Englishtown that destroyed a body.

“They're gonna have a heck of a team up there with Blaine doing the driving and Fuzzy doing the wrenching. I can see Fuzzy looking down at me and saying, "Yeah and we don't have to run 90% either." 
Gary Scelzi in a post-race interview on Fuzzy Carter's untimely death prior to the national event in Dallas.

“She might not have the sack, but she's got big ones.”  
Antron Brown about Angelle Seeling following the Holley Duel at Indy.

“I concentrate more, more sleep and drink less beer.”  
John Force on his key to winning

“Keep the money, just give me the beer.”  
John Force after winning Big Bud Shootout.

“Remember me? I used to win races.”  
Cory McClenathan after winning the Matco Super Nationals Top Fuel crown.

“I'm on a two-week break from chemotherapy and I said, 'I think I can hold on to that thing. Let's try.'”  
Dave Schultz after returning to run at Houston. The multi-time champion was diagnosed with cancer earlier in the season and captured an emotional victory.

2001

“Somebody owes me $50,000...”  
Top Fuel winner Gary Scelzi after winning the Budweiser Top Fuel Shootout.

“So many damn Funny Cars out here I thought I was at a NASCAR race...”  
John Force in an interview before the semis at Pomona.

“That race was won by the race winner...”  
Dave McClelland revealing the obvious at Pomona during final eliminations.

“If you will please bring Tony Pedregon's helmet back, no questions will be asked...”  
PA announcement during Sunday's final eliminations, right after Tony Pedregon's helmet was stolen.  

“Yeah, they won't ask them any questions, they'll just beat the fool out of them.”  
Overheard in the pressroom following the announcement.

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“Here comes the Nutty Professor...”  
Overheard in the pressroom when the Oakley Mad Scientist Scotty Cannon rolled up alongside Tony Pedregon in the first round.

“Shannon Jenkins may have let the dogs out, but we knocked down the fence on the corral and let the horses out. Let me tell you, this isn't your average dog and pony show.”  
Alan Pittman after winning the CompetitionPlus.com Spring Open Pro Modified crown.

“I'm afraid to bring my dog to the races any more, I'm afraid they'll charge us for it.”  
Top Fuel racer Bruce Litton regarding the IHRA's decision to charge an entry fee plus an extra fee for crewmen.

“I'd say I feel pretty good because I have money in my hand right now.”  
Junior Dragster racer Richie Williams after winning $490 in what could have been the richest junior dragster purse ever at the CompetitionPlus.com Spring Open.

“This track is terrible - I can't get down it.”  
A disgruntled Pro Modified racer at the NHRA Gatornationals Pro Modified exhibition.

“"What kind of rules do they follow out here? I watched the one go over there and hit the other and he backed up and then ran as if nothing happened. I love this stuff! This is what racing is about. Heck I'd love to field a car in this class; they don't care how many cars I have in here.”  
Ten-time Funny Car Champion John Force regarding the NHRA Pro Modified exhibition.

“If they believe that and read into that as anything other than a typo, then they ain't smart enough to be in drag racing in the first place.”  
Alan Pittman commenting on a magazine article that has drawn a lot of heat to the IHRA tech department by saying that he runs a 540-inch motor per IHRA rules.
 

“This is one of my proudest days ever. The only day I was happier than this was when we went 301.”  
Kenny Bernstein on sharing the winner's circle with his son Brandon, who won Federal Mogul Dragster at Vegas.
 

“When we talked in Gainesville, I let him know that I was glad he was back. He was really distraught and I asked him to look at it the other way. I told him to look at it this way...if he wins the championship this year that it will mean even more. We got a little philosophical, but I told him not to worry about it, because 'I'm gonna whip your a%@ anyway.”  
Paul Romine discussing Bruce Litton's return from a devastating fire that leveled his race shop in a post-race interview in Rockingham.

“I got out of my car and look over and he's walking over at me pretty fast. It startled me at first. The next thing I know he's yelling something. I looked at him and yelled, "**** you. You mess with me and I'll stomp your (blankety-blank).”  
Scotty Cannon to Whit Bazemore in an exchange of words following their first round match in Commerce.

“Scotty Cannon and the Oakley team took longer than is normal for most people. It's his prerogotive, but it's just a shame that he feels that he has to do that to try and win the round. Given the record that he has against us, he felt he had to do something desperate, and that's fine with me.”  
Whit Bazemore’s response in a press release regarding the incident.

 “I heard a few 'Yankees suck' cheers this weekend, but for the most part these people treated us well.”  
NY Yankee’s-sponsored driver Mike Dunn after winning in Commerce.

“Bennett’s most read section in his e-zine is that truth and lies section...”  
IHRA announcer Aaron Polburn describing CompetitionPlus.com over the P.A. system
 

“Somewhere in Dinwiddie, Lockwood kaboomed a blue jay about 500-feet in the air...”  
Polburn commenting on an alleged incident that rumored Pro Modified racer Mike Lockwood to have had a bird’s nest in the hood scoop causing an intake explosion.
 

“That wasn't a monkey on my back. That was King Kong...”  
Gary Scelzi after winning Top Fuel at Seattle.
 

“When I see Bobby Bennett coming, I shut my mouth. Every time I talk to that %^*$#@ he gets me in trouble...”  
Quain Stott commenting on the competitionplus.com editor’s tendency to quote him at the most inopportune times.

“Dad just doesn't get it. I was explaining the index thing to him and he's like, 'No, that's got to be wrong. You need to drive as fast as you can every time.' When the throttle stop delay slowed the car down in Denver he said, 'You can't ride the brakes.' He thought I was scared. I was like, 'Dad, that's the way it's supposed to be.”  
Ashley Force on her dad’s interest in her fledgling racing career
 

“I tell her all the time that it's all about the love of the people. I said when you drive by the stands and everyone is cheering except one guy, then she needs to stop and find that one guy and find out what's wrong. She's taking speech and marketing classes at school, too. I want her to do it all.”  
John Force on his daughter Ashley.
 

“Dad, I did my job. Now do yours.”  
Junior Dragster racer Kelli Bennett to his dad, editor Bobby Bennett after the car died on it’s fourth consecutive run just past the 60-foot mark. Kelli had a .510 light.
 

“I am. I’m gonna call somebody to fix it.”  
Bennett’s response.

"I think the economy is on the upswing, or at least it is in the grandstands at Maryland International Raceway."  
An onlooker commenting on the traditional betting pool that goes on in the grandstands.

2002

“I used to have either the nitrous guys or the blower guys mad at me. Now I have them mad at me at the same time. This is something new for me.”  
IHRA Tech Director Mike Baker on the new rule changes for Pro Modified in 2002.

"Bringing in John and his Chevrolet into our team will be like adding a little brother. I can smack him around, but no one else can."  
IHRA Pro Stock World Champion Gene Wilson on teaming up with John Montecalvo in 2002.

The other guys slowed down when they saw me, but you kept going. Why is that?  
Spartanburg County Sheriff Officer after pulling Comp Plus editor Bobby Bennett over for exceeding the speed limit while in a group of cars.

"I slowed down when I saw you too. I just didn't see you until it was too late." Bennett's response and believe it or not didn't get a ticket.

"The side of Quain Stott's car will no longer say LeeBoy, but rather 'Oh Boy"
IHRA Awards Banquet Emcee Aaron Polburn discussing the addition of Jim Lape to Quain Stott's team.

"It's a new team, and we're trying to be realistic. We're going to run as hard as possible at as many races as possible."  
Cory McClenathan on his new ride with Rick Henkleman

If I had been making the tuning calls I might have tried for a 4.70 and ended up stepping on my wee-wee.  
Scotty Cannon after qualifying third at the NHRA CSK Nationals

"The Yankees just aren't having any luck in Arizona."  
Clay Millican after beating the NY Yankees dragster and Andrew Cowin in the first round.

"It's a good thing, I stopped smoking and starting working out."  
Gary Scelzi on driving a Funny Car.

"Connie's got that Ice Cream and Cake look all over him."  
Bob Frey after Doug Kalitta beat Darrell Russell in the first round. Sunday was Connie Kalitta's 64th birthday.

"Bunch of beer drinkers up against the U.S. Army...that ought to be a good one."  
Larry Dixon prior to the final round against Tony Schumacher in Phoenix.

"I think Force has a button in his car that makes the other guy blow up."  
Ron Capps after kabooming alongside of John Force in Phoenix.

"For wimpy tires, you need a wimpy tune-up."
Lee Beard after Whit Bazemore made the Gators Funny Car program with a 5.00

"No comment...I plead the fifth."  
Scotty Cannon when asked about the NHRA approaching him to serve as a technical advisor for Pro Modified.

"I first discovered that women didn't shave their armpits in Australia. The first time a female fan waved at me and she lifted up her arm, I had to look back to make sure it wasn't a man. "  
John Force on Australian women.

"It's good to see all the two-car teams out there in Funny Car. Ron Capps and Tommy Johnson, Jr., are tough. Cannon and Bazemore are tough. They say they're getting along fine now, but I think they're both full of s***"  
John Force on the advent of two-car teams.

"I wasn't about to let a former Top Fuel guy in a Toyota come over and beat me. I had decided that if I had to, I'd run into him on the track to keep him from winning."  
Tony Pedregon as he laughed about racing Gary Scelzi in the finals at finals at Gainesville.

"The rules are subject to interpretation and they interpreted the rules one way, I interpreted them another way and the end result is that I am on the next flight to New York."  
Mike Ashley after losing a double-disqualified match in the first round at Rockingham.

"About $300,000..." 
Pro Modified racer Bob Rieger when asked what the difference between a Pro Street and Pro Modified car was.

"Looks like the nitrous cars have picked up a tenth...of course they just penalized the blower cars."  
An unidentified supercharged Pro Modified tuner.

"It gives me a feeling that I couldn't get in any other ways… well…maybe with a woman…it's just a great feeling."  
64-year old Nitro Harley rider Ray Price on what it is like to ride one of the beasts.

"In the event of a water landing en route to Dayton, we're in big trouble..."
Delta Airlines stewardess on Flight into Dayton. CompetitionPlus.com’s Bobby Bennett was on the flight.

"I am trying to learn all about these things. For instance, I now know that the distributor goes in the front of the Hemi motor."  
Top Fuel racer Clay Millican showing off his mechanical prowess.

"If you gotta be a man to ride one of those things, then I guess I ain't a man…"  
Pro Modified racer Mitch Stott commenting on Nitro Harleys during his color commentary at the ACDelco Nationals.

"K&N Filters have to be good. They are the only thing that could clean up the mouths of the Speedfreaks..."  
Speedfreaks Radio show founder Kenny Sargeant when discussing the merits of K&N Filters.

"You know, the first thing I'm going to do if I win this thing tomorrow is go out and find a security guard to harass."  
Tony Pedregon, after qualifying No. 1 in Englishtown.

"I'd like to say hello to the big man at Budweiser...uh...uh...what's his name?"
John Force after his semi-final win upon hearing of August Busch IV visiting Kenny Bernstein at the Sears Craftsman Nationals

"I bet he's got Nike breath about now."
George Bryce commenting on Matt Hines' recent allegations of cheating in the Angelle Savoie camp.

"They say when you die you can see over on the other side. I took a look and didn't see any race cars, so I came back."  
Veteran Pro Modified tuner Bill Barrett, who suffered a heart attack earlier this season, when told by his doctor that his heart had stopped beating. He was in attendance at Norwalk.

"Clay Millican is a valuable asset to the IHRA Top Fuel program, but sometimes assets need liquidating."
Bruce Litton commenting on Clay Millican's 6-0 record against him in 2002.

"I told his leprechaun that I had a larger pot of gold. Money talks. "  
Pro Modified racer Thomas Patterson regarding how he overcame Al Billes run of good luck in the final round.

"There is only so much BS a tape recorder can take..."  
CompetitionPlus.com’s Bobby Bennett after a second tape recorder died after interviewing IHRA VP Aaron Polburn.

"Ladies and Gentlemen...STUPID."  
IHRA announcer Aaron Polburn after an exhibition snowmobile rider ran 144 miles per hour.

"My daughter told me yesterday to keep it short and sweet. Considering that when she told me that she was the only one that had won any money at this point, I felt I better listen to her.."  
John Force after losing the first round of the Big Bud Shootout and then talking to the media.

"If I was a NASCAR racer, I'd have a nervous breakdown..."  
John Force, in discussing the psyche game between he and Cruz Pedregon in the semi-finals.

"No more Mrs. Nice Guy up there on the starting line from me..."  
Angelle Savoie when discussing her refusal to light the pre-stage light first.

"What's that all about?"  
Don Prudhomme commenting on Bill Bader's $100,000 challenge for his driver Larry Dixon to run Clay Millican.

"When is the next oildown scheduled for?"  
Overheard from a Hooters Girl in the pressroom at Maryland International Raceway.

 “I told Shannon at the last race he beat me at, ‘Boy, I’m gonna get on your back one of these days and it’s going to be mortal hell getting me off.”  
Mitch Stott after defeating Shannon Jenkins in the Pro Modified final at Epping.

“I think they all have a hard-on for me. I think most every one out here has one for me.”  
Shannon Jenkins when asked if the supercharged guys have it in for him.

"Alright Coil, show them how great thou art."  
John Force, after a traditional prayer to start his race at Dallas.

"I'm having an average day, but my average is a lot better than most."  
Funny Car racer Dale Brand on his chances at the IHRA World Finals in Rockingham, NC.

2003 

"It's a 3/4 scale Cavalier...”  
Kurt Johnson on the new Ford Escort in NHRA Pro Stock.

"I think all of the tobacco companies got a bad deal. It’s just like these state run lotteries, they told us how this money was for the kids…very little goes there. They are laying off workers and all. Where does all of this money go? You tell me."  
Gary Scelzi on the case of Government versus Big Tobacco.

"You just keep it…"  
Team owner Don Schumacher when telling a story about how he confronted a member of the drag racing community with reported ties to illegal activity stole his racing operation back in the Seventies.

"Your new nickname is strap-on..."  
An unidentified member of the media to the photographer that willingly allowed himself to be duct taped to the wing of a Top Fueler.

"I looked over and I saw the fire and I thought for a moment...wow Roger's having a real bad fire. Then I felt the heat and realized it was me."  
IHRA Top Fuel racer Todd Paton after his major fire alongside of Roger Dean during qualifying in Martin, Mich.

"I guess it's about time to bring out that, ‘Honk if Rickie Smith has ever driven or tuned your Pro Stocker’  bumper sticker again."  
A race fan when hearing that Rickie Smith had departed Team Mopar and returned to Jim Yates.

"Bill, I think he was telling you that you're number one... ”  
Overheard in the pressroom at Milan after a crewmember on Mitch Stott's Pro Modified team raised his middle finger at the tower in protest. IHRA President Bill Bader was the target of the obscene gesture.

"I actually love running Funny Car because the g-forces throw my fat back in the seat and I look slimmer and twenty years younger. But, the downside to that is when I pull the parachute I look like the Pillsbury Doughboy."  
Terry McMillen on why he loves running a Funny Car.

"I smell a fine coming on"  
Team Amato crewchief Wayne DuPuy after making disparaging comments on ESPN about the poor track conditions in Seattle.

"Everyone suggested that I should put more money into my engine. I had a better idea. I invested twenty cents in a vinyl letter and changed classes. "  
Stock racer Michael Beard on how he solved the problem of how to outrun Bob Marshall.

"This is the leg that kicked the ass today."  
Pro Stock Bike rider Reggie Showers as he waved one of his prosthetic racing legs above his head in the winner's circle following the K&N Filters Pro Bike Klash.

"Rickie's not being emotional in his speech, he's thinking about Scotty Cannon coming back next year with a blower car."  
Fred Hahn during the AMS Pro Modified Challenge banquet speech discussing Rickie Smith's tendency to get emotional during speeches.

"I told Schumacher that if you don't want him, I will take him."  
John Force on Whit Bazemore in a post-race interview at Dallas.

"Tony could fall in the tub..."  
John Force on his chances to win the NHRA POWERade Funny Car championship.

"Only if you push him..."  
A member of the media in response to Force's comments.

"Richard Tharp...who's that?"  
Overheard in the NHRA Media Center at the Texas Motorplex.

"My dad used to be cool...now he's just an "A" word ."  
Kelli Bennett, son of CompetitionPlus.com publisher Bobby Bennett, after being put on restrictions.

"We had no problem finding weapons of mass destruction on Charlie Gambino at Epping. He was driving one.”  
IHRA announcer Aaron Polburn referring to Gambino’s explosion at New England Dragway.

"I love the track, but it's the ice cream that makes us head that way."  
Thomas Patterson on why he travels from Houston, Texas to race at Maryland International Raceway.

"He wanted to run the car in the first round, but he couldn't get it to back out of the pit area."  
Spoken in the pressroom about an IHRA Top Fuel regular that continually has problems getting his car into reverse and is forced to shut-off regularly.

"I ain't gonna kiss him. I'll bend over and he can kiss my ass."  
Pro Modified racer Quain Stott when asked to kiss his younger brother Mitch Stott on the IHRA Speed Channel television show.

"I wanted him to explain to me how a guy knows you're gonna beat him to the starting line but he starts last. Is his timing off every time? I told him don't let me be backing up and I see you go by on your burnout like it happens every time. Don't do that again."  
John Force on his altercation with Lee Beard in an article posted on NHRA.com

2004

"Obviously the idea that the NHRA had, which came from Warren, is that the new combination would settle these cars down and make them safer so they wouldn’t have to treat their racetracks. He’s full of shit…absolutely full of shit. This is no better tire than we had before."  
Greg Anderson on Warren Johnson’s assessment the beadlock rule would be safer for the Pro Stock class.

"People must think that I went into a cave and forgot how to run Pro Modified. Mitch seems to be the biggest one out there and well in a barfight, you pick the biggest one and knock them out first. All I can say is that he better come to Darlington in a few weeks with his ‘A’ game cause ‘Daddy’ is certainly back.”  
Scotty Cannon in issuing a challenge to IHRA Pro Modified World Champion Mitch Stott for a match race in Darlington, SC.

"Now that he’s away from that team, his brother says…you know Tony has been around team orders for a long time and there won’t be any of that here. If they didn’t have team orders, he wouldn’t have won the championship last year."
Whit Bazemore regarding his rivalry with Tony Pedregon  

“Bader, if you were running an airport, you’d have planes crisscrossing each other and landing all over one another.”
Scotty Cannon, after watching a set of cars do burnouts, only to be shut down when oil was discovered on the track, taking IHRA President Bill Bader to task over his procedure of running a pair of cars every 17 seconds.   

“My ancestors were concerned about me coming to Texas. There are way too many Cowboys.”
IHRA Speed color commentator and Native American Johnny Rocca on coming to San Antonio, Texas, for his debut as part of the television talent crew.  

“These kids are a lot smarter now than we were back when we were doing it. There’s so much technology available to them. We had to work with what we had back then and it was the big motors. I would have loved to experiment with one of the little motors they have now.” 
Carroll Shelby on today's Sport Compact revolution.   

“I went to church with John Aden and Ken Owen. I told Austin to set me on fire…shit that’s the fun stuff."
John Force after a brief fire opposite Ron Capps in the first round.  

"I can see broken bones waiting to happen." 
Torco's Brian Pfiefer after company owner Evan Knoll informed him that he'd just purchased a 425 cc dirt bike. Knoll later crashed and severely injured his shoulder.  

"They need to check the overdrive on that thing." 
An unidentified supercharged Pro Modified team owner after nitrous racer Shannon Jenkins ran a 6.24 in unbearable conditions at Norwalk. The quickest blower car was a 6.31 during the same session in which the air was 3,750 feet.  

"They're a bunch of know-nothings (NHRA). Some of us out here have been running these cars for 50 years. Who would know how to run these cars better than us?"
Top Fuel Team owner Connie Kalitta on the recent rule changes to slow down nitro racing.  

"Warren Johnson said that Ray Charles could get a perfect light on a five tenths pro tree, so that's why I was singing 'Georgia on my mind' all the way to the winner's circle." 
Martin GM Performance Parts Top Stock winner Monty Bogan, Jr., after he beat Tom Rix in the class final with a perfect reaction.  

"Well boys, looks like we have a Hot LZ." 
Drag Race Central's Larry Sullivan, a veteran of the U.S. military, as three parachutists attempted to land as the IHRA inadvertently launched their pre-race fireworks display. LZ is military lingo for landing zone.  

"He had to pay me to take his money." 
Sunoco Pro Stock racer Frank Gugliotta as he not only beat Rick Jones in the final round in Martin, but also became a member of the Quartermax 6.40 Club sponsored by Jones. Jones rewarded Gugliotta with a check for $1000.  

"After what happened to Von Smith, I have no idea why they'd want to put an Undertaker behind the wheel." 
Veteran Pro Modified journeyman Tommy Gray after being named the temporary driver of Tom Lipar's "Dr. Moon's Rage" following Von Smith's quintuple bypass heart surgery.  

"If I knew exactly what it was, I'd put it in a bottle and smuggle it back across the border!" 
IHRA Stock World Champion Michael Beard when asked about his proficiency of winning national events in Canada. He's won the last three events that he's entered across the border.  

"You %^@$^%$#%@&$%# are the reason I never wanted to come back and race here anymore."
Funny Car racer Dale Pulde, on what he told the NHRA's Ray Alley upon being disqualified for failing the licensing recertification. The NHRA had reversed the decision on allowing him to compete in Sunday's eliminations.  

"By God we won't have a problem with those speakers once the sun goes down and it gets dark in here..."
A disgruntled racer in the pits at Toronto Motorsports Park as IHRA officials tested them well into the night on the Thursday before the event began. Someone reportedly scaled the pole and cut the wires to the excessively loud speakers sometime during the night.  

"Where in the hell are we?"
Pro Modified racer Scotty Cannon while on a dirt road in British Columbia. Cannon had gotten lost on a dirt road in the province en route to a match race in Alaska.  

"You know where carbon fiber came from don't you? It came from the aliens and it came off of one of their space ships."
An unidentified fan to a member of Top Fuel racer Bruce Litton's crew as he cleaned a part on the car.  

Don Garlits on the latest NHRA rules designed to slow down the nitro cars