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POSSIBLE NEW BIG NAME SPONSOR FOR SPORTSMAN RACING |
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| As I was watching the Daytona 500 on TV a few weeks ago, it occurred to me how many of the race car sponsors were promoting products that had nothing to do with either cars or high performance. There were sponsors for home improvement centers, beer, marker pens, cell phones, you name it. There were also sponsors pushing a relatively new phenomenon, male “sexual enhancements.” I have also seen TV commercials promoting these same kinds of products. This got me to thinking. Apparently, keeping a man's thing, uh, “rigid” must be a highly profitable business. In fact, my computer is bombarded every day by emails from companies trying to sell me these little pills. Why they happened to pick my particular email address is beyond me entirely. The other day I received a call from a “pharmaceutical company” in Texas that said they might be interested in becoming a major sponsor in Sportsman Racing. They were about to release a new product called YESACHOL, aimed exclusively toward women. Of course, I became quite excited about this potential opportunity. After some inquiry on my part, they shared with me a little more about the product (it doesn't have FDA approval yet so they were being a little careful). The company's research has shown that “male enhancement” pills would not be required nearly as often if more ladies just said “yes.” After much research, their scientists and doctors have developed a pill (supposedly good for 24 hours) that will “stimulate” the ladies to say “yes”, up to 66% more often. This in itself may completely torpedo the male enhancement pill market. Because in many cases, the “problem” that the males may be having (again, their research, not mine) is not a “rigidity” problem but a place to use the unit after it becomes rigid. A “place to use it,” of course, is where YESACHOL comes in. Now, exactly how many times the female patient will say “yes” during the 24-hour period has not been established, and will probably vary with different users. A specific problem for the company trying to market this medication, (and I am forbidden to release the company's name until the sponsorship negotiations are complete), is how to administer the pills to these lady patients. It seems that the company's research shows that the vast majority of women sampled (over 94%), do not feel that they need the product in the first place. Saying “no” has always been easy for most women. They have been programmed to do this (by mom, dad, big brothers, teachers, etc.) since birth. In fact, the research has shown that women would much rather say “no” or “maybe later” than they would to say “yes”. This is particularly true with the married ladies. To use drag race terms, “once the married ladies get lane choice they no longer want to race.” Anyway, this is clearly a serious marketing dilemma. The very people that could get the most benefit from YESACHOL (the men) are not the same people who would be buying or using the product (the ladies). After careful study and a thorough evaluation of the core Sportsman Racing customer base, the company has decided that the males who attend these events would probably figure out how to “plant” the YESACHOL tablets into something that their wife or girlfriend (or both) would eventually be drinking. According to their marketing strategy and sales research, just selling the pills to the male attendees could put the stock sales over the top. This sounds like a reasonable assessment to me, too. As soon as the FDA approval hits, I'm buying up as much stock as I can afford. I have been assured by the founder of the company, Dr. Kenneth Lay, that we will all become very rich.
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